[dropcap]S[/dropcap]o when you have a major set back that feels like a failure are you allowed to sulk? I can just hear some of you now saying oh of course not! Man up! Get a grip! Who died?! When I went for my first dan black belt grading I did not get through for a third time running, so I did exactly that I sulked. I was really hurt and I had worked really hard and I was in pain, injured even, but sill it was not enough. Then after a good sleep the numbness and my mood rose and a little irritation set in. On reflection and looking at my TKD journey it was clear that I had come to a fork in the road, give up or go again? I have to say my mum often said I was stubborn, and I would say I’m like a dog with a bone, in business they would probably say I was tenacious but when it comes to tae kwon do the sport in question it’s called indomitable spirit yes of course I’m not going to give up, it is not in my nature.
Have you noticed though how it appears that some people appear to sail through life, get everything done the first time while to others it can seem like and up hill battle, but that’s okay because we know that everyone has a different path in life. This is key and it’s important to recognise it and to be accepting of your own path because this is the path you can control that is your film the one in which you are the star.
How do you deal with a setback may depend on how value of what you are trying to achieve in other words, how important it is to you?
So some tips for dealing with setbacks
- Take time to deal with the disappointment. Sulk, eat, dance however you deal with this type of disappointment and in this moment, try not to make any rash decisions.
- Do not take it personally. This will foster blame and resentment and is likely to make you bitter, meaning you will not be open to new strategies etc to get over it going forward.
- You need to make a decision as to how you want to deal with it, Do you still want it, are you willing to get it another way, if you don’t want it, why? do you want something else instead? How do you feel.
- Look for the lessons to be learnt, so you don’t make the same mistakes again, it would be madness to go and do the same thing again and then expect a different result. Feedback may be key here.
- Once you have made your decision, go again or not as the case may be.
It is important that you get over the disappointment, before you move on, yes you can fuel you on, but it must not cloud your judgement. How do you deal with setbacks? I’d love to hear from you?